Short Takes #8

Little notes in a bottle

Photo by author

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The first step in building a rational and effective time-management system is admitting and accepting the following shocking truth:

We will NEVER be able to get EVERYTHING done!

Depending on what we do with that fact, we will feel either much worse or much much better.

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I think there is more consensus about what most people DON’T want than what they do. That’s probably why I prefer the Silver Rule to its golden form:

Don’t do unto others what you would not have them do unto you

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There is an important difference between the PTSD caused by a single traumatic event and what is called “complex developmental trauma” caused by multiple adverse events during childhood.

The first is like being struck by a rattlesnake. The second is like growing up with a rattlesnake in your house.

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I’m a fan of this metaphor for our mind:

Imagine a large powerful nuclear submarine. The periscope peering above the water line is our conscious self. We tend to think that is all we are. The rest of the submarine under water is the rest of our mind, what Freud referred to as the unconscious and Jung called our larger self.

I like the notion that the first half of life is mostly about using the periscope to get a good read on the environment so we can survive and thrive and build a good life. The second half is about bringing more of the submarine to the surface and integrating all that machinery into our conscious self. This requires periods of undistracted quiet and introspection, and can greatly enrich our lives and relationships and activities.

https://bairdbrightman.substack.com/p/silence

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Both the political “right” and “left” in the US have adopted of late an extreme stance of thought/speech policing and purity testing for their members. People now walk a razor’s edge of maintaining right/correct speech conforming to the dominant ideology. A single mistake can bring down attack, ostracism and even expulsion from the tribe.

This regime of mental totalitarianism can’t possible be healthy at either the individual or societal level. And yet here we are. Whatever happened to live/think and let live/think? Oh right. “Social media.”

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Believing is easy.

Knowing is hard.

Place your bets.

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Trying to stop the corruption of government officials (emoluments clause, inspectors general, campaign finance reform etc.) is like trying to control the flow of the Mississippi River. Over many decades, the Army Corps of Engineers has built levees and control gates to prevent the massive floods and course changes the river makes. Every time a levee is overtopped or undermined, the ACE builds a bigger/higher one. And, well, you know what happens …

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Pickpockets bump into you to distract you while they steal your wallet.

Manufactured crises, propaganda (lies) and the creation of “enemies” serves exactly the same function.

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Chuckled when I saw this headline:

A positive attitude toward aging can make you feel younger

Um. No. The goal of positive aging is not to feel “younger”. It’s to feel good and healthy longer.

Tough to shake off that age-ism!

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There is a lot of writing in the public media about NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) and PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) and BPD (borderline personality disorder) .

I would recommend that everyone get hold of a copy of the DSM5 or ICD10 and read up about APD (anti-social personality disorder) and ODD (oppositional defiant disorder). They are coming soon to a neighborhood near you. Might be there already!

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Before a war starts (between individuals or groups/countries), words and intentions matter a great deal.

Once the violence begins, only force matters.

After the war, words and intentions matter again.

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Pain Relief 💊

Have you ever tried reframing a painful feeling as something else as a way to get some relief? I learned about this technique in a seminar I attended on hypnotherapy. Examples:

• When you’re feeling nervous/anxious, reframe the feeling as “excitement”

• When you’re feeling physical pain, reframe the feeling as intense cold or heat

This method takes some practice like any new skill, but it’s surprisingly helpful once you get the hang of it. It’s safe, effective and free (which is why you never see any ads about it!).

Standard Disclaimer: this is not professional health advice (duh/wink!)

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Weasel Words

“Sex Trafficking”

Excuse me, Miss. Would you mind pulling over into the SLAVERY lane?

“Grooming”

A fresh haircut and smoky-eye makeup would make you so much more attractive to the clients!

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I notice I recently stopped blaming myself for some of my earlier life failures. I’ve tried to “forgive” myself many times over the years for those faults, largely without success.

As a recovering (wink) psychologist, it is sobering to find that many changes we want/try to make do not succeed, only to find (sometimes) that we evolve in that desired direction at some future point without intention. That’s when I need to call up my inner Stoic and try yet again to accept what is not in my sphere of control (including parts of ME!).

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I feel fortunate to have spent my early life without computers and the internet, and that my children were almost out of high school before the whole “social media” monster was born. I’ve never felt “addicted” (doom scrolling) to a device or app. I just trudge along my analog path, occasionally picking up a digital tool fit for purpose, and putting it down when done.

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ECON 101

The “problem” isn’t high(er) prices.

It’s low(er) wages.

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When you have only two pennies left in the world, buy a loaf of bread with one, and a lily with the other. — Chinese proverb

(photo of lilies in my living room) ⬇️

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(If you enjoyed these Short Takes, I published a collection of them here)

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