16 Comments
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Mark Diacono's avatar

What a great read, thank you

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Baird Brightman's avatar

Thanks Mark!

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Hans Jorgensen's avatar

I love your totally unscientific graph.

And the truths of loving while letting go. It's hard and good - and can vary depending on culture and other variables. Thanks for this!

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Baird Brightman's avatar

Thanks for commenting Hans!

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Keila (KJ) Aartila's avatar

This explains so much. Thank you for sharing!

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Baird Brightman's avatar

Thanks for reading and commenting Keila!

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Lauren Cortis's avatar

My kids are still little, but the older one is getting close to adolescence so good to be prepared. It rings very try regarding my current situation with my parents- thanks Baird.

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Baird Brightman's avatar

Thanks Lauren. I'm glad you found something useful on both sides of your intergenerational journey.

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Neela 🌶️'s avatar

Happy Monday Baird

I love your point about how kids still want their parents’/family love but just in a different way as they grow up. I’ve felt that change in my own relationship with my niece. She is now 17 - yikes!

It makes such a difference when both sides feel respected and understood.

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Baird Brightman's avatar

Thanks Neela. I think we focus too much on kids' "independence" from parents rather than a change in the relationship dynamic. Kids and parents want to stay connected if, as you say, there is mutual respect and understanding (big if!).

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Liz Haswell's avatar

Thank you for this essay! I’d describe our relationship with our 14 year old like a yo-yo as much as a kite! Right now (14, starting the first year of high school) the yo-yo is close, but I know soon it will zoom farther away!

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Baird Brightman's avatar

I like your yo-yo metaphor Liz. First cat's cradle, then walk the dog, then 'round the world!

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Michelle Scorziello's avatar

Excellent. It becomes much harder for the parent if the child has a learning difficulty or a vulnerability. I think that is the really difficult path of parenthood to navigate.

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Baird Brightman's avatar

Profoundly true Michelle. We both know that from personal experience. 🙏

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Cecilia At The Kitchens Garden's avatar

Excellent essay. We have to be careful not to train or kids to be dependent adults. Interesting about the older parents re-introducing themselves into their adult children’s lives. I am sure my kids are grateful that I live in a different country!!

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Baird Brightman's avatar

Thanks Cecilia. Yes, there is such a thing as " too close for comfort" for adult children.

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