A map for the parent-child journey

Transformation of a vital bond

In writing about the best practices of good parents (protecting, understanding, supporting, letting go etc.), I considered the ways in which the relationship needs to morph and change as the child does. It is a subtle and nuanced dance that continues as long as parent and child are both alive (and afterwards in memory).

My dear friend Chun Yu has written a remarkable poem (The Map) about the vital and changing connection between parents and children throughout their lives together. I invite all (former) children and parents to read and contemplate Chun’s wise and beautiful words at her website and as printed below.

© Chun Yu (Printed with permission. All rights reserved.)

---

THE MAP by Chun Yu

When I was born

your bosom was the map

I occupied all of it

in your cradling arms

.

When I began to walk

your eyes’ sight was the map

I learned my steps

toddling and waddling

in your adoring gaze

.

When I started school

your mind became the map

I ventured out and back

from morning to night

in your unceasing care

.

When I grew up and left home

from hometown to other towns

home country to other countries

your heart became the map

I searched far and wide

high and low for my direction

and place in the world

in your loving thoughts

.

Each time I set out for a journey

you asked for my destination

studied an open map

accurately locating the point

of my being

.

Then one day

you picked up a magnifying glass

eyes moving closer and closer

hands trembling more and more

Finally, at a loss

no longer seeing clearly

the lines and points on the map

you hold me in your heart

.

Growing older and older

you can now only walk

in my eyes’ sight

fumbling steps

every trip outside

an adventure

.

From now on

I will walk

by your side

so you can

lean on me

.

When we are at a loss

not knowing where to go

love is the map

.

---

This essay is dedicated to Chun and her mother and father who create and navigate their map together with such love and devotion

---

You can hear Chun and others reading The Map in Chinese and English here

I had the pleasure of reading The Map which you can listen to here

---